The reasons for the strong attraction between the Secret Lover

Love them, many of our hidden inner personality conflicts, these disputes themselves, is the leading cause of love, the importance of place.

 
From the pursuit of self-love
As the saying goes "not enemies would meet somehow," love is often the case, both of them love and hate, they fight and trouble, but love's a very tough battle. For this kind of psychological, psychologists believe that the strong attraction between lovers caused one of the reasons, in fact, to pursue the complete self.

 
Young master of psychology that everyone is the body with "dominant" and "hidden" (or "shadow") personality. In other words, everyone can see each person in addition to the external performance of the "dominant personality", there were just the opposite, hidden heart of the "shadow of personality." That is, a very lively person real hidden side of a very depressed, and another very quiet people, most likely in another unfamiliar environment, has become restless. With psychological theory, the "analytic" character is the shadow of those "feel-based" because "of type" who focus on logical thinking and objective judge, but when he stressed that with the performance of "rational", they unconsciously fine their own passionate "sensitive" part of the personality, the subconscious depths of depression to become invisible "shadow personality."

 
Thus, when a met a body with its own "shadow personality" of the opposite sex, the heart often have the feeling of joy jump for joy, because the other highlights the lack of his own (or have been suppressed) personality traits. It is said that love is often complement one object is for this reason. A silent man who met a lively, often is his "shadow personality" to see the sun, has been inspired, which has become very happy, by the shackles of the mind, be free to release.

 
The opposites attract, "Shadow of personality" and "dominant personality" complementary integration process, will gradually develop a more complete, more mature personality, psychologists call this process was "complete me" search.

 
Safely through the emotional crisis
However, this combination is often referred to as part of the pain of love, in the so-called run-in, past the other side of our character, the most attractive, but now a place where you can not stand. If in the past, you fall in love with is his gentle, then likely you will complain about his lack of manhood, and you fell in love with her lively, and very likely to find her "wordy," "naive."

 
Love, you feel like having the best people the world can be made to the running stage, you begin to discover each other numerous shortcomings, began to complain about dissatisfaction. Because, at this stage, we want to transform each other, to the other side into a perfect imagination, so has the resulting pain. Many people go but this run-in period, eventually ending the pain.

 
How to get the feelings it go more smoothly? Psychologists believe that there is only one way is to give the other side into a perfect fantasy, not to gaze in each other's body, and go back to re-focus on their "dominant" and "hidden" personality integration and growth, focusing on expanding its own " shadow personality. " When you give up to change each other, their actual learning is also expanding its "shadow personality." Interestingly, often a good companion to feelings, when a person give up the change the other when the other side will actually be affected more and more, unconsciously become more and more like two.